When Insults Had Class

"The threshold of insult is in direct relation to intelligence."
~unknown

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
~Winston Churchill

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
~William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
~Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
~Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
~Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
~Oscar Wilde

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
~Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
~John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
~Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
~Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
~Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
~Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
~Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
~Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
~Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
~James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
~Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
~Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
~Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
~Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
~Billy Wilder